I am “H.” (I know, not all that difficult to deduce). My friends – A., B., C., and E. – are alive and well, as far as I know. We’ve all had our ups and downs, but for the most part we are doing well. At least from what I’ve heard through the grapevine. I don’t hear much from some of them anymore.
A. and I are still in contact, and I truly value her friendship. Sure, we’ve gone through rocky patches, but so far we haven’t gone past the point of no return. University was a difficult time for her, and I pray that God will heal her heart and give her strength. I pray that our friendship will continue to grow and mature as we grow older.
B. is married now. She is still passionate about crafting and is finally getting to use her home-making skills to care for herself and her husband. I haven’t seen her since her wedding. No other contact surrounding the wedding. Haven’t heard from her in ages.
C. is recently married, and I have no clue where she and her husband are living. I heard about her wedding when she mentioned it in passing at B’s wedding. I had never even heard mention of her fiance before that day. There were vague details about date and location, but “things weren’t yet set in stone.” That long-ago night was the last time I’ve heard from her. No invitation to her wedding, no mention of the date when I emailed and asked (not asking for an invite, but at least wanting to pray for her).
E… well, we both have busy lives, on opposite sides of the country, and neither of us holds it against the other when we get busy and forget to email for a while (at least that’s the impression I’ve been getting). I am immensely proud of everything she is doing with her life. She is currently unmarried, finishing up university, and has gone on many missions trips to some pretty dangerous areas. Her longest excursion lasted almost a year. She has a strong passion for sharing Jesus with others, and she’s got the determination to follow Him wherever He leads. E. is the kind of friend who inspires me to do greater things and push myself beyond my comfort zone. I am immensely grateful for her friendship.
Why some of these seemingly-solid friendships have faded away. Was it me? Did I do something to alienate them?
It has not been stated outright, for I have been reluctant to ask, but from their actions or lack thereof one can assume that friendships of our childhood are no longer as important to them as they once were. Meaning that I am no longer as important to them. I hope that this is not the case, but without further contact this is all I have to go on.
I don’t think that there was any intentional behind their actions, so it’s difficult to be angry with them. But it still hurts. I pray that God would heal my resentment, and that I would not hold their actions/inactions against them. I don’t want to be so stuck in the past that I miss the good in the present. These girls were/are a tremendous blessing to be, as I pray I was to them.
For the time being, I have decided to move on with my life. Maybe if we happen to meet up somewhere we can chat and catch up, but some of these friendship will never be the same. I pray that God would allow us to develop a different kind of friendship from this point forward.