Today was my final residency day on the unit. Thankfully I only worked an 8 hour day instead of a 12 hr day, and I had planned to go out for fro-yo and Kindle reading time, but it’s almost 100 degrees outside, and I am tired. So I came straight home instead.
Everyone keeps asking me, “Aren’t you excited? You’re almost finished with your residency!” And every time I sort of shrug and reply, “No, not really.”
The person’s face will usually looked sort of shocked. “Why not?”
“Because after my residency I’ll be on my own. And the thought of that terrifies me.”
All of us in our residency group voice the same sentiment – we would rather be working with an experienced nurse, someone of whom we can ask thousands of questions. Someone checking up on us to make sure we’re doing okay. Someone to catch any potential mistakes we may make well in advance.
All of the nurses I’ve talked to say that it will take a good 1 – 2 years before I start to feel comfortable as a NICU nurse. At this point, I would rather just fast-forward to two years from now and avoid all the nervous I-think-I’m-gonna-throw-up-before-work feelings.
I pray every day that God will keep me from making a harmful mistake. And now I think I shall take a nap and avoid thinking about work any more today.